Blog


20 September 2021


BACK TO SCHOOL / BACK TO REALITY


My daughter recently went back to school after the long summer holiday. The Sunday night before, as she prepared to go to bed with a slightly apprehensive expression on her face, I too became overwhelmed with that 'Sunday night before school' feeling - made all the worse in this case as it came after a six week break!


It's amazing isn't it how the emotions that we remember from our own time at school can come flooding back at this time of year. The whole idea of a new, fresh start, combined with the nervousness of seeing people again, being under pressure to study, the early mornings and perhaps even the loss of the freedom we'd experienced during those summer months. 


And actually the seasons may also play a part in this. The smell in the air as summer begins its slow metamorphosis into autumn, the abundance of daddy-long-legs and spiders, the slight chill in the air and the slightly darker mornings. All of these environmental factors add to and enhance the emotional experience and connection we feel at this time.


So...what did I do to cope with this general sense of unease, anxiety and apprehension that I felt? I recognised it, acknowledged it and let it be present. I accepted the loss of one era in time – summer and my daughter's school holidays – and accepted that the flow of time meant that the next stage of the year was coming.


And then I realised that actually for me, nothing had really changed.... it was my daughter's life that was going to shift up a gear. All I could do was accept my feelings and do all I could to support her as she began to accept hers.


Thanks for reading. See you soon, take care.


3 May 2021


MONTHLY UPDATES?!


When I started this blog I thought to myself, I won't fall into the old trap of every new blogger, namely being all enthusiastic at the start, adding a new blog every month, regular as clockwork and then losing interest and just stopping.


But two months later and I realise that in fact I've missed the last two month's updates. So I lasted just two posts.


But did I lose interest? Not at all. The explaination for my absence is simple. Life got in the way as it often does when we make plans, whether they are personal goals, ambitions and ideas or more business orientated. I'm forever thinking about ideas for posts in my mind but finding the space to sit down at the computer, remember how to update my website and put pen to paper. Or in this case fingertips to keyboard.


Am I going to beat myself up? Judge myself? Pack in blogging all together?


No. I'm going to realise that in my life, I just couldn't (or didn't) make the space to get some thoughts out. And that's OK. The world's not going to stop. I'm not a failure, and I've not myself or any visitors to my site down. I'm just a man who was unable to create space for this.


But there you go.... and in fact I've managed to get a blog post out of the fact that I've not completed the target of the post a month that I set myself when I started this blog.


So it's all good. And I've learnt that when there isn't space to do something and more important things take up your time (and that includes doing absolutely nothing and being 'lazy' if that's what you need) then it's absolutely fine.


Take care. See you next month. Probably...



16 February 2021


FAREWELL TO SNOW


So now, in my small corner of England the snow has gone. It was beautiful while it lasted and during this period of social hiatus brought a welcome relief to many, including myself, as welcomed something different to brighten up our days.


Snow for me has always been about stillness. Quiet. Peace. I remember as a teenager returning home from work and stopping off at a hilly park in my old home town as the snow came down thick and fast. I stood on top of the hill and marvelled at the soft gentleness and absence of sound that the snow seemed to bring. The sky reached down and enveloped me, blurring sky and landscape and for those moments that I paused on top of the hill nothing else mattered. Until I had to make my way home of course...

But I relish the stillness of snow. It gives me a chance to reflect and just, as I experienced that day many years ago, pause. It's almost asif the snow sucks the sound from the air and allows space for our feelings and thoughts to emerge and take shape. It gives us permission to stop and experience our feelings.


It struck me how hard it can be for some people, myself included at times, to do this. We're always caught up in the business of the day rather than simply gifting ourselves some quiet time to just be with ourselves. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could solve this problem, and, every now and then, act like it's a snow day.



20 January 2021


A NEW BLOG


Welcome to all of you visiting my site and reading this blog. Not sure how ordinary it is for a counsellor to actually feature a blog on their website as within therapy sessions we tend not to reveal too much about our thoughts and feelings or indeed our history or lives.Naturally our focus is with the client.


But perhaps on a website with the written word there is scope to share a few words now and again on what's going on in our lives and the world in general; a chance to share our thoughts and feelings.


So, that is the ethos I'm going to adopt as I add to this blog as the weeks and months pass and I'm hoping it may give you a little more background into me and my counselling practice and may help you make a decision on who to chose as your counsellor should you feel therapy may help.


I'm going to make a conscious effort not to re-read and 'over-write' these blog entries however, and instead will simply go with the flow and write honestly and from the heart.


Thanks for reading.